Here's the weekly astrological forecast for December 16 - 23, 2009. What's your sign, baby? They're all here...
ARIES (March 21-April 19): I don’t understand why the astronomers responsible for naming newfound objects are so devoid of flair. Here’s a prime example: They found a blazar, or blazing quasi-stellar object, in a faraway galaxy. It’s powered by a supermassive black hole that’s 10 billion times larger than our sun. Why did they give this fantastic oddity the crushingly boring name “Q0906+6930”? Couldn’t they have called it something like “Queen Anastasia” or “Blessed Quasimodo” or “Gastromopolopolis”? I trust you won’t be as lazy in your approach to all the exotic discoveries you’re going to be making in 2010, Aries. Start getting your imagination in top shape. Make sure it’s primed and ready for your upcoming walkabout to the far reaches of reality.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Scientists say that pretty much everywhere you go on this planet, you are always within three feet of a spider. That will be an especially useful and colorful truth for you to keep in mind during 2010. Hopefully it’ll inspire you to take maximum advantage of your own spider-like potentials. It’s going to be web-spinning time, Taurus: an excellent phase in your long-term life cycle to weave an extended network — with you at the hub — that will help you catch an abundance of the resources you need.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I don’t normally recommend that you worry too much about what others think of you. In 2010, however, you could benefit from thinking about that subject more than usual. Judging from the astrological omens, I suspect that you’ll be able to correct misunderstandings that have negatively affected your reputation. You might even have the power to shift people’s images of you so that they’re in relatively close alignment with the truth about who you actually are. Here’s the best news: You may be more popular than you’ve ever been.
CANCER> (June 21-July 22): I’m hoping that you will get out more in 2010. And I mean way out. Far out. Not just out to the unexplored hotspots on the other side of town (although that would be good), but also out to marvelous sanctuaries on the other side of paradise. Not just out to the parts of the human zoo where you feel right at home, but also out to places in the urban wilderness where you’ll encounter human types previously unknown to you. In conclusion, traveler, let me ask you this: What was the most kaleidoscopic trip you’ve ever taken? Consider the possibility of surpassing it in the next 12 months.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): One of the 20th century’s greatest scientific minds was Nobel Prize-winning physicist Max Planck. He knew that in his field, like most others, ingenious innovation doesn’t automatically rise to the top. The advancement of good new ideas is hampered by the conservatism and careerism of scientists. “A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light,” he wrote, “but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.” In 2010, Leo, there’ll be a similar principle at work in your sphere. Influences that have been impeding the emergence of excellence will burn out, dissipate, or lose their mojo. As a result, you’ll be able to express and take advantage of innovations that have previously been quashed.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Twenty-two percent of American rightwing fundamentalists believe that Barack Obama is the Anti-Christ. On the other hand, 73 percent of the people who read my horoscopes think that if there were such a thing as an Anti-Christ, he would be an American rightwing fundamentalist. But I’d like to discourage speculations like that among the Virgo tribe in 2010. According to my reading of the omens, you should take at least a year off from getting worked up about your version of the devil. Whoever you demonize, just let them alone for a while. Whatever you tend to fault as the cause of the world’s problems, give your blame mechanism a rest. As much as possible, create for yourself an Enemy-Free Zone.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I’m hoping that 2010 will be the year you do whatever it takes to fall more deeply in love with the work you do. I’d like to see you reshape the job you have so that it better suits your soul’s imperatives. If that’s not possible, consider looking for or even creating a new job. The cosmos will be conspiring to help you accomplish this. Both hidden and not-so-hidden helpers will be nudging you to earn your livelihood in ways that serve your highest ideals and make you feel at peace with your destiny.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “It Don’t Mean a Thing (If It Ain’t Got That Swing)” is a jazz tune composed in 1931 by Duke Ellington and Irving Mills. In accordance with your long-term astrological omens, I propose that we make that song title your motto in 2010 — the standard you’ll keep referring to as you evaluate which experiences you want to pursue and which you don’t. Please proceed on the assumption that you should share your life energy primarily with people and situations that make your soul sing and tingle and swing.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
I hope you will get more sleep in 2010. And eat better food, too. And embark on some regimen like meditation that will reduce your stress levels. In general, Sagittarius, I hope you will learn a lot more about what makes your body function at optimum levels, and I hope you will diligently apply what you learn. That doesn’t mean I think you should be an obsequiously well-behaved pillar of the community. On the contrary, what I’m envisioning is that by taking better care of yourself you will make yourself strong enough to run wilder and freer.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Even if you don’t plan to go to school in 2010, I suggest you make plans to further your education. Your current levels of knowledge and skill may be quite impressive, but they simply won’t be enough to keep you growing and adapting forever. Eventually, you’re going to need to learn more. And the coming months will be a perfect time, from an astrological perspective, to get that process underway. Here are a few questions to jumpstart your meditations: What ignorance do you find yourself having to increasingly hide? What subjects captivate your imagination and tantalize your future self? What skills and know-how do your competitors have that you don’t?
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Imagine that money is not just the literal cash and checks you give and receive, but that it is also an invisible force of nature like gravity or electromagnetism. Then imagine that it’s possible for this primal energy to be favorably disposed toward you — that on some occasions its rhythms may be more closely aligned with your personal needs. Can you picture that, Aquarius? I hope so, because there is a sense in which this seeming fantasy will be an actuality for you during much of 2010. How well you’re able to capitalize will depend in part on how high you keep your integrity levels. Are you prepared to be more impeccably ethical, fair and honest than you’ve ever been?
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Have you been toiling away earnestly at the exhausting homework that life has dumped on you this past year? Have you kept the faith even when you’ve been fooled and confused? Have you applied yourself with a pure heart to the maddening details and puzzling riddles you’ve been asked to master? If you’ve been less than conscientious at doing these tasks, the next two months will bring you a series of tricky final exams. But if you have been doing your due diligence, then you’re on the brink of graduating from boring old problems that you have been studying and studying and studying for a long time. Do we dare hope that you will soon be free of a history that has repeated itself ad nauseam? Yes, I think we do dare.