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Either Or

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...


Dear Mistress,

If I really want to please my new girlfriend, should I be focusing more on her G-spot or her clitoris?


Either Or

Dear Either Or,

If you want to please your girlfriend, don't ask me whether you should focus more on her G-spot or her clitoris — ask her!

When it comes up to pleasure, women are like fingerprints: No two are alike. While most women are more apt to get off from clitoral stimulation, some women swear that penetration holds the key to the ultimate orgasm (though some sexperts have argued that women who experience "internal orgasms" are only able to do so if the clitoris is positioned close enough to the vaginal opening to feel the friction of penetration).

More likely, your lady will like some combination of both internal and external stimulation, and that's where communication comes in. Ask your girlfriend what she likes. Don't just ask her which lady bits work best for her — ask if she likes it hard or soft, fast or slow, orally or digitally. It's likely she will appreciate your thoughtful inquiries about her body, and you will be in a better position to rock her world.

If your girlfriend isn't sure what works best for her, suggest that the two of you explore the answer together. Start by educating yourself on the basics of anatomy. The clitoris is located on the outside of a woman's body, a button-like organ located at the top of the inner labia, above the vagina and urethra. The G-spot is located on the inside, on the upper wall of the vagina. G-spots can be a little trickier to locate — you'll know you've found it by its distinctively rough texture.

Above all, have fun on your quest to please her. Remember, sometimes the best sex requires a little trial and error. If you keep an open mind and a sense of humor, the rest will come (pun intended).

Externally yours,