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Downstairs Remodeling

Mistress Maeve


Published September 19, 2007 at 8:24 p.m.

Dear Mistress Maeve,

I just started dating a guy from my office. We haven't slept together yet, but I hope it happens soon!

A couple months before we started dating, I overheard him and another male coworker discussing grooming habits, specifically how they prefer women's pubic hair to be kept. I heard my guy say that he prefers "hardwood floors." I'm assuming this means he prefers it completely shaven. I've never shaved my area. Any tips, Mistress?

- Sasha

Dear Sasha,

I'm feeling a bristle, and it isn't from your pubic hair. Just because he prefers hardwood floors doesn't mean you have to give up your wall-to-wall shag. Before you remodel, make sure it's what you want.

If you decide to move forward with the hardwood, follow these six easy steps until you develop your own technique.

1. Trim your pubic hair with small scissors. This will remove a great deal of hair and save on the disposable razors. You may want to do this while straddling the toilet.

2. Take a long, hot bath or shower. The heat and water will soften the hair, making it easier to shave.

3. Take your position. I prefer sitting on the side of the tub, but you may find a position you like better.

4. Apply shaving cream or gel liberally to the entire area and let it sit for a minute. The shaving cream will also soften the hair. Be sure to choose a cream or gel for sensitive skin.

5. Start shaving. Using a disposable razor with an aloe strip, begin shaving from your bikini line to your labia. Rinse your razor frequently, and take your time around the more sensitive areas. If possible, position a mirror so you can better see what you're doing.

6. Rinse and condition. Once you're satisfied with the hair removal, rinse the area and apply witch hazel or aloe to combat razor burn and unsightly ingrown hairs.

Follow these steps, and you'll be freshly polished and buffed in no time. Just remember to take your time - razor nicks and uneven hair are not hot.

Oh, and one last thing - whatever you do with your bush, please don't talk about it in your office. Inappropriate talk like that can get you into a hairy situation at work.

Clip, clip,