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Crazy Paving


In the words of my soon-to-be bestie Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church, "Thank God for Paving Projects." I really mean it — thank you to the being that lives in the heavens for the paving that is going on in Burlington, and around the state, including the crazy alien nighttime paving that's happening on VT 15 in Colchester. The fluorescent lightning they're using to illuminate the work looks like they're trying to usher the mothership down to Earth. 

Currently in Burlington, there are eight or nine paving projects in some stage of construction, says my other new bestie Erin Demers, Burlington public works engineer. For 2009, the city allotted $3.2 million for 35 paving projects. They're supposed to finish all of these projects by Halloween, so they're hammering now to get them finished. And for that I thank them — them being the people who are out there sweating to the oldies laying asphalt in scorching heat.

During clement weather, I ride my bike to work nearly every day. Atop the bike, I can see practically every little divot and crack in the pavement. I try to miss them, but inevitably there are times when I fall asleep at the wheel and fall into one of the many street-level craters created by our miserable winters. Then I am immediately reminded of how Mother Nature hates Vermont and wishes it was never born, not unlike how my own mother feels about me. Our roads are pretty brutal not only for bikes, but for cars as well. I'm pretty sure other states don't lose motorists to thoroughfare crevasses like we do.

Our own street outside of the top-secret 7DHQ is slated to be repaved starting today maybe. Yesterday everyone got quite a shock when they rolled up to the office and saw "No Parking Upon Pain of Death" signs lining the street. That got the whole office kvetching about the lack of parking in this God-forsaken place (I know, Fred Phelps — it's the gays' fault that we have parking issues). One of our very own inimitable editrixes rode her bicycle to work today to avoid the parking melee; another one walked, lugging in the Tuesday bagels for the troops.

I, for one, am overjoyed at the paving. Granted, it makes driving a pain in the can, what with all the roads closed. And the scarified pavement and elevated manhole covers make cycling somewhat more treacherous than it already is. But the hassle is temporary and ultimately will make our lives exponentially better. I'm talking, like, 53 to the ninth power better.