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...But a Number

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...


Published May 16, 2012 at 8:23 a.m.

Dear Mistress,

I am an attractive (so I’ve been told), retired executive who is in very good shape. I am currently a nonpaying member of a dating site, but would gladly join if I felt reasonably sure I would find success.

My question is: What age range should I be searching for? I am 61 years old and my search on the site returns only 15 matches over the age of 60. Doesn’t seem very promising, and I’m wondering how to proceed. Thanks for any advice you can give me.


But A Number

Dear But A Number,

It’s tough to say which range you should be searching, as every person has different preferences when it comes to age. Start by searching in the age range you are most comfortable dating. If you’re not sure, try looking for people who are within 10 years younger and 10 years older than you — a 20-year spread is generally a safe bet.

If you’re not coming up with as many matches as you’d like, try other dating sites — there’s no rule that says you can only be on one site at a time. Look for sites that make it easier to discern who’s looking for you by displaying the age range a member is seeking. This will do away with all the guesswork.

One last thing: Don’t reduce your dating life to a click of the mouse. While the internet has made dating more convenient than ever, nothing beats meeting potential mates the old-fashioned way. Look for ways to get involved in your community and meet new people. You say you’re in good shape, so how about joining a hiking club or signing up for a charity bike ride? You’re bound to meet singles you have something in common with, and it gets you away from the keyboard.