Dear Lola,

I’m so distraught. The woman I’ve been in love with for the last several years always used to be a sensational dresser. Whenever we gussied up to go out, I could always count on her to wear outrageous outfits that showed off her delightful décolletage. Nothing thrilled me more than to sit across from her at a candle-lit table gazing into her orbs. But alas, all that has changed. Ever since the Supreme Court fixed the election, my gal has been buttoning up to the chin, proper as some Daughter of the American Revolution. Must I wait four whole years before I can once again bask on the sight of her bosom?

Crushed in Colchester

Dear Crushed,

Certain changes make us vulnerable. Your friend’s sudden need to take cover may be an expression of some very well justified anxiety. Help her keep her hope alive by reassuring her that, come what may, you’ll still be there for her. And keep your fingers crossed for the mid-term elections.