I have met the love of my life. The problem is, we can only have relations twice a day. The pain from the twice-daily trips to ecstasy leave my lover sore and not able to accept further penetration. Is there a salve or another solution?
Willing Willie in Williston
Oh, you poor, put-upon dear. I do feel your pain. Not to mention your lovers. As your letter offers no clues about your lovers gender or the particulars of the impacted orifice, I cant make any specific product recommendations. But suffice it to say that the market is overflowing with a variety of lubricants and ointments designed to ease the entrance to many a bodily portal. In any event, a better solution as long as you claim to be so willing would be to explore some less well-traveled routes to, as you put it, ecstasy. Any moron can insert Tab A into Slot B. Are you imaginative enough to chart your own course?