Am I Gay if I Ask My Girlfriend to Peg Me? | Ask the Rev. | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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Am I Gay if I Ask My Girlfriend to Peg Me?

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ID 177523875 © ANDREWGENN | DREAMSTIME.COM
  • ID 177523875 © Andrewgenn | Dreamstime.com

Dear Reverend,

Are you considered queer or gay if you ask your girlfriend to peg you? I've always enjoyed watching it, but I'm too hesitant to go through with it.

Ben Dover (male, 58)

Dear Ben Dover,

I guess that depends. Do you consider yourself queer or gay? No? Then no.

Since you didn't say otherwise, I'm assuming that you're a cisgender (someone whose gender identity is the same as their sex assigned at birth) man who has a cisgender female girlfriend. If this is correct, I'd say that you're a straight guy who likes the idea of a little ass play. And you're certainly not alone.

For the uninitiated, pegging is when a woman performs anal sex on a man using a dildo, usually a strap-on. Although the term came about in 2001, the act has been around for a lot longer. The Marquis de Sade, a French aristocrat, wrote about it in his 1795 book, Philosophy in the Bedroom. Lately, pegging has been popping up more often in mainstream movies and TV, like in Deadpool and "Broad City."

Anal sex can be very pleasurable for a man because of the magical prostate gland. From what I understand, stimulation of the prostate can lead to mind-blowing orgasms. If your girlfriend is open to trying new things in the bedroom, why hesitate to ask for what you want? She might enjoy playing the more dominant role. Watch a few videos together and, if she's into it, go on an excursion to your local sex shop for supplies.

Life is too short to worry about labels. Go ahead and get your peg on.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend


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