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Ask Athena: All Wet at First Intercourse


Published August 9, 2017 at 10:00 a.m.
Updated August 14, 2017 at 2:50 p.m.

Dear Athena,

After five months of hanging out and fooling around, we finally went the distance. Our first actual intercourse ended in me completely wet. I am very experienced, but this never happened before, and I am now confused. He said to me, "I think you just pissed on me." But I'm not sure what it really was. Did I pee on him, or did I just come a lot — more than I have before? Please help me. I am so confused.


Wet and Worried

Dear Wet,

Don't fret. (See what I did there?) But seriously, relax. A couple of things could be going on here. And, lucky for you, solutions are my specialty.

You and your guy waited a long time to have this love sesh — five months! And maybe the drawn-out anticipation and the hot new lover made you come so hard that you experienced female ejaculation for the first time — which would be totally normal and 100 percent awesome. Squirting, as it's often called, is a result of intense G-spot stimulation, and, upon orgasm, fluid can come shooting out of the vulva or vagina. Very often, this fluid looks and smells a little like urine, as there might be traces of urine in it, and it's warm.

But squirting is a good thing. How wonderful that you've landed a partner who makes you feel new and exciting sensations!

However, there's another possibility here: It may be that you are experiencing incontinence. On February 8, I responded to a similar question about female ejaculation and peeing during sex. I later received a letter from an experienced and thoughtful reader who explained that the simple "Kegel exercises to strengthen the pelvic floor" I suggested at the time made light of what can be a really frustrating issue for many women. I have since learned more about the severity of incontinence and the importance of physical therapy to remedy the situation.

So, if you start to notice fluid escaping during other inopportune times, consider a checkup with your doctor or a physical therapist. If you live in or near Burlington, Evolution Physical Therapy + Yoga not only offers yoga classes but has excellent PTs trained to target your specific issues. If you continue to be "wet and worried," it's worth making an appointment.

However, since you've just mentioned this one instance, my gut tells me you've enjoyed your first squirting experience. Rock on. If you need a solution there, it's simple: Bring a towel to your next sleepover. And warn your guy that if you get busy like you did before, he should expect — and welcome — the best kind of waterworks.