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Adopt a Fire Hydrant? I'd Prefer a Kitten


There are many things I could see myself adopting in the near future: a kitten named Steven, a tiny Djiboutian child, a new hairdo. But never in my life have I entertained the idea of adopting a fire hydrant. I mean, what would I get from that? It can't sit on my lap and purr. It won't call me Mommy and barf all over my favorite shoes. And it certainly won't make people think I'm cooler or better looking.

But apparently there are many fire hydrants in this lakeside city of ours that are in need of a forever home. Or at least some forever people to take care of them. Personally, I feel like What's a fire plug going to give me in return, except maybe water when my house is burning down or when I have decided to set myself ablaze? But I'm sure there are some Good Samaritan types who will provide these hydrants with the TLC they need. The City of Burlington hopes so.

From the city's Dept. of Public Works:

"Volunteers are needed to shovel out and make accessible City Fire Hydrants [Ed. note: Note capital letters. That means this is important.] in case of a fire. We are asking that people pick out a hydrant close to their home and keep it accessible for the winter season. Snow needs to be shoveled away from the nozzle connection but not down to the bare ground. If you have any questions please call Burlington Public Works — Jim Ritchie at 865-7265."

Now, there's not a hydrant within 1000 feet of my house, so I'm off the hook. But those of you with plugs in your 'hoods better get to adopting. Or at least just get to shoveling.