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About Face

Mistress Maeve


Published May 6, 2009 at 1:20 p.m.

Dear MM,

This past weekend I met a guy out at a bar, and he asked me for my number. I liked him enough, so I gave him the digits. It's been a few days and no call, but I just logged into my Facebook account, and what do I find? A friend request from bar guy. WTF?

I'm not one of these social networking freaks who needs to have 500 random "friends" looking at pictures of my daughter and family, not to mention the email addresses and work information I have on Facebook - it's pretty personal stuff.

I do want to go out with him, but isn't he jumping the gun? Dating is fun because you find things out about a person at a reasonable pace - not in one click. Isn't he putting the "friend request" before the "friendship"?


Face Off


Dear Face Off,

It drives me crazy when people commit acts of poor communication etiquette. It's really very simple - if a girl gives you her email address, email her. If she gives you her phone number, call her. If she says, "Look me up on Facebook," send her a friend request. How difficult is that?

However, just because he committed a dating faux pas doesn't mean he's a bad guy. This guy is excited to get to know you better and, like millions of people, thinks Facebook is a socially acceptable route to friendship. If you like him, accept his friend request. Once you've accepted him, you can go into your privacy settings and give him "limited access" to your profile - this will allow you to dictate the parts of it he gets to view.

One last thing: If you don't like the idea of people having access to your family photos, work information and email addresses, DON'T POST THEM ONLINE. Being able to accept or deny friend requests gives us a false sense of security. But if it's online, it's findable.