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A Hairy Situation

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...

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Dear Mistress,

What’s the gentlest way to suggest to my girlfriend that she tidy up her pubic hair — at least enough to fit it all into her bathing suit?

Signed,

Ambushed

Dear Ambushed,

You’re in a hairy situation, literally and figuratively. Personal grooming can be a sensitive topic, so avoid razor burn by approaching with caution.

Thanks to porn and pin-up mags, hairless vulvas have become the rule, not the exception. Fully shaven bits are even making their way into mainstream movies — have you seen Rosario Dawson’s silky-smooth full-frontal performance in this year’s Trance? However, that doesn’t mean your girlfriend is obligated to tidy up her pubic hair. If she prefers hirsute pursuits, it’s not on her to shave — it’s on you to get over it.

That said, if you feel compelled to broach the subject, lather her up accordingly. Be direct, but be careful not to nick her self-esteem. Try making it about pleasure, rather than how she looks in her bathing suit: “I really like going down on you, and I think I could do a better job if there was a little less hair distracting me. What do you think?” Or go for a mutual approach by asking, “Have you ever had sex where both partners are completely smooth? I heard it’s amazing. Wanna try it with me?”

If she seems open to the idea, go the extra mile and get her a gift certificate for a bikini wax. Bonus points if you spring for a wax and a massage — she’ll be smooth and relaxed.

Above all else, remember that tact and timing are key. Tread lightly and keep in mind that plenty of people are still attracted to a full bush. If you don’t appreciate her 70s stylings, someone else will.

Smooth operator,

mm

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