A female friend of a friend of mine gets aggressively sexual when she gets drunk. She tries to make out with everyone in the room — male, female, partnered or single — all are fair game in her mind. I've repeatedly had to grab her hands to stop her from shoving them down my pants. This makes me (and my other friends) extremely uncomfortable. I try to be polite when I decline her advances, but she's very persistent. She seems to think it's funny. How do I make this stop?
Felt Up and Furious, (male, 33)
Dear Felt Up and Furious,
I bet that if she remembers any of it, she does think it's funny, and she probably thinks she can get away with it because she's a woman. But sexual harassment is never OK. The gender of the harasser and the location, whether work or a party, doesn't make a difference. Someone needs to talk to this person when she's sober and let her know that her behavior is totally unacceptable and needs to stop immediately. It wouldn't hurt to mention that she runs the risk of having charges pressed against her if it continues.
After that, if an incident happens again, how about you take a video of her? Then send it to her or show it to her in person so she can see what a creep she is. Hopefully, that would be completely embarrassing and make her realize the error of her ways.
Another option is to tell the friend who brings this person around that their friend isn't welcome anymore. Have your other pals back you up on the idea, and make sure your friend knows how serious you all are. Perhaps that will make your problem simply disappear.
Good luck and God bless,