Dear Mistress,

I am a sexually inexperienced woman due to a long-term marriage. Now, in my 50s, I have found a very special friend who is giving me feelings I never knew existed. The sexual excitement is unbearable — at times, I literally want to scream. Here’s my question: I am embarrassed about my enthusiasm in bed, and particularly aware of my intense facial expressions. What do I do?

Signed,

Good Girls Don’t

Dear G.G.D.,

You’ve been out of the game for a while, so let me get you up to speed. It’s time to forget this “good girls don’t” nonsense and learn a new mantra: Good girls do. You’re in the middle of a sexual awakening, and you should savor every moment.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret — those intense faces are your ticket to even better sex. In the moment, we communicate with our partners through a variety of channels, including breathing, talking, scratching, moaning and even facial expressions. If your head is spinning around like Linda Blair in The Exorcist, your partner knows he or she is rocking your world. The more wild, more contorted, more ridiculous faces you make, the more your lover will continue to blow your mind. So, if you want more of this good thing, continue to scowl, scrunch and snarl your way through sex — your partner will take the cue and keep on making you scream. Intense facial expressions aren’t embarrassing; they’re an incredibly hot way to tell your partner you’re enjoying yourself.

Getting out of a long-term relationship and entering into a new affair can be downright terrifying. After spending years with the same partner, sex can become uniform and comfortable (and boring). Now that you’re discovering a new person, you may feel like your sexual communication skills have atrophied. It’s totally normal to feel unsure, nervous and embarrassed — but try to keep your eye on the prize. You are having the best sexual relationship of your life so far, so relish it. Wonder at it. And try your best to let all the negative thoughts go. I promise you, when you do, the sex will just get better.

Good girls certainly do,

mm

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