APRIL FOOL'S DAY, EH? | Freyne Land



Life is short, folks, isn't it?

It's not a dress-rehearsal.

That's what Lt. Gov. Brian Dubie (left), a Republican airline pilot, and State Sen. Peter Shumlin, a Democrat and International Student Travel Service Manager, have finally realized. Both tell "Freyne Land" they want to be governor of Vermont and they've come up with a plan that should satisfy both of them.

Over the last three months, Shummy and the Doobster have, shall we say, gotten to know each other in a way they never imagined they would.

Dubie, as lieutenant governor, is the presiding officer in the 30-member Vermont Senate.

Shumlin, as president pro tem, is in charge of setting the smaller, "upper body's" agenda, deciding what happens and when it happens. The boys have had to work together.

You may have noticed the Senate has operated smoothly this year. Very smoothly. Well, it isn't just because the Democrats have a "huge" majority, holding 23 out of 30 seats.

Dubie and Shumlin, longtime married heterosexuals who have each fathered several children, tell "Freyne Land" they have, this Montpeculiar winter, discovered their homosexual selves. They giddily told us the other day they will be getting a Vermont civil union as soon as their divorces go through.

AND - are you ready for this? - and they hope to run for governor in 2008 as the "Two for One - Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun" ticket.

Sounds unbeatable, eh?

Can incumbent Republican Gov. Jim Douglas cut enough ribbons to hang on for a fourth term?

Also, here's a shot of Burlington Rep. Chris Pearson, chair of the itsy bitsy, teenie weenie, six-seat House Progressive Bikini, and the tallest Progressive under the Golden Dome, announcing, "Size does not matter, it's what you do with it!"

Pearson the Prog (like Democratic Jog-Bra State Sen. Hinda Miller, a Canadian citizen until recently), told reporters at a Prog Presser in the Cedar Creek Room that he, himself, is "clearly the smartest, best-looking, most articulate and intelligent person to ever serve in the Vermont House and it's time the stupid media and the rest of the low-watt-bulb members acknowledged it."

We do!