Dear Mistress Maeve,

My ex-girlfriend would orgasm multiple times per session. Her orgasms would often result in a dramatically abundant "gush" of female ejaculate, and I really liked it. It was not just a little bit of liquid, but rather was a massive burst of nectar that had the essence of citrus with a hint of bitterness and new-mown hay smell. It was wonderful.

Though I have not yet returned to the dating scene, I plan to in the near future. While I realize that there's more to a relationship than checking off some sort of "sexual shopping list," I really want to find a woman who can squirt. It seems like it would be extremely gauche to ask a woman, "Hey, can you gush?" So, Mistress, how do you suggest I find another fountain-like woman to appreciate?

Sincerely,

Fountain Head

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Dear Fountain,

Kudos to you for relishing your ex-girlfriend's squirting talents. Sadly, women who can ejaculate are sometimes embarrassed by it, either because of the "mess" or because they mistake their ejaculate for urine. The liquid that can be released during orgasm does come from the urethra, but it isn't urine — it’s a clear substance generated by the Skene’s glands (or G-spot). When aroused, the G-spot becomes engorged with fluid, which it releases into the urethra. Upon orgasm, this liquid can erupt — sometimes a little, sometimes a lot, depending on the woman. Some studies say that the majority of women ejaculate from the urethra during sex, but in small, undetectable quantities.

You're right — asking a woman whether she can gush is probably not the best pick-up line, nor should a woman's ability to ejaculate make or break your decision to be in a relationship with her. Rather than focusing on this one sexual act, focus on finding a mate who is as open about sex as you seem to be. For most women, it's anatomically possible to ejaculate, but it could take some practice. If you find a partner who's open to trying it, pick up a copy of Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot by Deborah Sundahl. The book discusses how to find the G-spot and how to ejaculate alone or with a partner.

Oh, and one last thing — if you do find a woman who can satisfy your thirst for squirt, you may want to keep the "new-mown hay smell" comment to yourself. I don't know many women who want to smell like a farm.

Gushingly yours,
MM