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Speed Limit

Mistress Maeve


Published January 9, 2008 at 12:17 p.m.

Dear Mistress Maeve,

I have been on and off with the same man for three years. Because our relationship has been hot and cold, I've never done much to address certain things about him that bother me. Meaning, each time we start up again, his same annoying habits are still there.

Well, now we're on again, and there's something I want to take care of - the speed at which he comes.

Every time we start fooling around, my man comes within, oh, five minutes. Maximum. His excuse? "You're just so good!"

If we are able to have sex multiple times in one interlude, he lasts longer, and I am generally able to come along with him on the third romp in the sheets. The thing is, we don't always have the time - or the will - to make it through three whole sex sessions.

I am lucky - he never leaves me hanging. He is more than happy to finish me off with his hand or a vibrator, but I'm sick of feeling like a burden in bed when I truly believe the problem lies on his side of the mattress.


Anita Moore-Johnson

Dear Ms. Moore-Johnson,

So, let me get this straight. Your man can go three rounds in bed, gives you orgasms with his hands and vibrators - and you're upset?

Look on the bright side; things could be a lot worse - he could give you his five-minute man show, roll over and start snoring. But he's not doing that. He clearly cares about your satisfaction and should be willing to work on this "problem."

If you haven't yet done so, talk to him about the issue. Tell him how much you love having an orgasm when he's inside you, and that you wish it could happen every time. Further, tell him you'd like to actively pursue an orgasm during the first round of intercourse, so that you don't feel like an afterthought or a burden.

Make it fun and suggest the two of you work on it together. For instance, before your next rendezvous, leave him a sexy voicemail encouraging him to rub one out on his own so he can last longer for you later. Or, the next time you're having intercourse, get a little dominant with him. Tell him to stop thrusting and give you some oral or manual stimulation - this will bring you closer to orgasm and give him a chance to cool off.

Above all, don't lose sight of the good aspects of your sexual relationship - sounds like he's pretty hot, even if he is a two-pump chump.



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