• Dreamstime

Dear Reverend,

My wife and I share a computer at home. The other day, I was looking for something in the internet history and noticed a bunch of links to cuckold porn videos. Nobody else has access to the computer, so it must have been her. Does this mean she wants to bang another guy while I watch? I'm all for trying new things, but I don't think I would go that far.

Three's a Crowd (male, 35)

Dear Three's a Crowd,

Let's get this tidbit of advice out of the way first: If you share a computer with someone or are looking at naughty things on a computer that has even a slight chance of falling into someone else's hands, use an incognito window. Or at least clear the browsing history when you're finished. I thought everyone knew that by now, but apparently not.

The traditional definition of a cuckold is a man who has an adulterous wife. In the kink world, "cuckolding" is when a person — of whatever gender or sexual orientation — gets turned on by the idea of their partner having sex with someone else. As with any fetish, cuckolding can be taken to varying degrees. With some people, it involves watching the act and/or an aspect of humiliation. With others, it can be as simple as your partner flirting in front of you or talking about having sex with someone else — real or imaginary.

You were the one being a Nosy Nelly, even if it was by accident, so I don't think you should confront your wife about the videos. Watching a few doesn't mean she has become a full-on kink queen. It's possible that she heard the term, was curious and went down the proverbial rabbit hole. (Lord knows if anybody peeked at my browsing history after researching topics for this column ... yikes.)

On the other hand, she may indeed have a bit of a cuckolding fantasy. Speaking of, when did you last ask your wife about her fantasies — if ever? Next time things are getting hot and heavy, inquire about the wildest thing that turns her on. I'm willing to bet it will become a very good time for just the two of you.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend