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Dear Reverend,

My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We haven't been getting along for a while. We argue all the time about everything. He doesn't want to talk about it, and he refuses to go to counseling. I've been thinking about getting a divorce, but I really don't want to be single again.

Hattie Nuff (woman, 45)

Dear Hattie Nuff,

Not wanting to be single isn't a good enough reason to stay in an unhappy relationship. However, a decade-long marriage is certainly worth working on. Your relationship must have been good at some point to get you this far, so hopefully there's a way to find that again.

Have you told your husband that you've been considering divorce? If not, there's a good chance he doesn't realize how serious the situation is. There's no way to pussyfoot around the subject, but bring it up gently. Pick a time and a place where there will be no distractions, and try to approach him with empathy and compassion. If you have kids, make sure they're not present for the conversation. If you don't want to drop the d-bomb quite yet, firmly let him know that you can't continue in the relationship unless things change.

Do you know why he doesn't want to seek outside help? Although counseling and therapy are much more widely accepted these days, some people still feel that there's a stigma attached. If you have friends or family who have benefited from marriage counseling, perhaps you could use them as an example of success.

If he absolutely refuses to try counseling, you could go on your own. Your therapist can help you figure out how to address your marriage problems in a healthy way. They may also give you exercises to work on with your spouse. If your husband sees you making progress on your own, maybe he'll warm up to the idea of attending a session with you.

Give yourself a certain amount of time to work on your marriage, be it six months or a year. If nothing changes, it's probably time to move on. You have a lot of life to live, and you deserve to be happy — even if that means being on your own for a while.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend