I'm Uncomfortable When My Dad and His Girlfriend Are Affectionate | Ask the Rev. | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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I'm Uncomfortable When My Dad and His Girlfriend Are Affectionate


Published December 11, 2019 at 10:00 a.m.
Updated December 13, 2019 at 11:49 a.m.


Dear Reverend,

My mother passed away in 2016. My father met a woman about six months ago, and they've gotten pretty serious. She's nice, but whenever they're together, they're really affectionate, and it makes me uncomfortable. They're going to be staying at my house a few days for Christmas, and I'm not sure how I feel about them sleeping in the same bed. What's the etiquette?

Daddy's Girl (woman, 43)

Dear Daddy's Girl,

He's your father, but it's your house, so if it makes you unbearably uncomfortable, you could certainly ask him to stay at a hotel. But it's Christmastime, and that seems way too "no room at the inn" to me.

For the first 40 years of your life, you only knew your father as your mother's husband, so of course seeing him being romantic with a different woman will seem strange to you. That's perfectly normal, but you need to work on getting over it.

Your mother wouldn't have wanted him to be alone forever, and neither should you. Imagine how you'd feel if he were with a woman who was mean to him all the time. That would be a whole lot worse, wouldn't it? Some people never find love at all, so be thankful that your father has found it again.

If you're close enough with your dad, just be really honest with him. Let him know that you like his new lady but you feel awkward when they're displaying affection, and it's going to take you some time to get used to it. Getting this off your chest ought to make you more comfortable with them snuggling up with sugarplum fairies under your roof.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend

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