I'm Attracted to Men Physically, But Not Romantically. Am I Gay? | Ask the Rev. | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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I'm Attracted to Men Physically, But Not Romantically. Am I Gay?


Published December 8, 2021 at 10:00 a.m.


Dear Reverend,

I'm not attracted to blokes one bit. But I love a nice cock — so much so that I do let guys fuck me, and I don't mind sucking them off. But no way would I kiss a guy. Am I gay?

Doodle Doo (male, 35)

Dear Doodle Doo,

Every year on Saint Patrick's Day, millions of people wear green, get drunk and listen to Celtic music. Does that make them all Irish? Nope. A similar concept applies to sex. A heterosexual person can engage in homosexual activities without identifying as gay. It doesn't mean that they're closeted, either.

Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are two different things. You can be sexually attracted to men and women but only have feelings of romantic attraction and love toward women. No big whoop. Of course, you should be honest with all parties involved, or else you could find yourself in a real sticky wicket.

If you're 35 and you have to ask whether you're gay, maybe there's more to it. But as long as everyone is a consenting adult and having a good time, why bother with labels? Not all people are able to be as free and fluid with their sexuality as it sounds like you are, so consider yourself a lucky fella and keep on keepin' on.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend

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