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I Dated My Dad's Cousin


Published November 11, 2020 at 10:00 a.m.

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Dear Reverend, 

I had a relationship with my father's first cousin. We had sex often. I broke up with him, but he still insists we should be together. He even wants us to get married without our families knowing. Am I doing the right thing? 

Split Stress (female, 21)

Dear Split Stress, 

Oddly enough, I responded to a similar question around this time last year. Maybe kissing cousins are a November tradition?

If you're asking if I think it's right that you broke off the relationship, my answer is a resounding "Hell, YES!" And it has nothing to do with the fact that he's your first cousin once removed. Personally, I would never fool around with someone whom I knew was even remotely related to me, but as long as it's legal and everybody involved is an adult, I say more power to ya. 

The problem in your situation is that this person is pressuring you to get back together. That's never OK. Ever. His thought that the two of you should get married without telling your families ... well, that's just plain next-level nuts. I can't even begin to imagine the hot mess that could turn into. 

This man's behavior sounds borderline abusive, and you should follow your instincts and stay away. Keep your distance during family gatherings. Block his number so he can't call or text you. If he keeps bothering you and you need support to stick to your guns, hopefully you have a close friend you can turn to. If not, I suggest you contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at thehotline.org or 800-799-SAFE.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend

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