Dear Green,

OK, I'm not going to lie, bigger can be better. But it's really more about girth than length. According to Askmen.com, the average erect penis size is between 5.1 and 5.9 inches. In which case, you're above average. Pat yourself on the back, man. The vulva, clitoris and inner portions of the vagina are the most sensitive parts. So, you don't need to worry about your penis being too small or unable to offer great pleasure, because it's not about how it looks but how you work it. So work on that.

Now, let's talk about confidence. Bottom line, the best lovers are confident lovers no matter what. We won't care if you don't. The biggest turn-on is being with someone who takes great pleasure in giving pleasure — lovers who are receptive to your needs and fantasies. Think about all the ways you can give pleasure: through oral sex, cuddling, massage and kissing, just to name a few. Lovemaking is about sharing a feel-good experience, but if you're self-conscious, it isn't going to feel good to anyone.

Now, you could try a penis pump or jelqing (an ancient, natural form of repetitive penis massage, largely discredited). You could take pills (don't) or even schedule penis-enlargement surgery (have fun with that!). But you're spending way too much time thinking about how you look, and that's just not healthy. True pleasure and connection in the bedroom isn't about looks but rather how you feel about yourself and each other. If you want to build your confidence, focus on your heart, exercise more and turn your attention to things that make you feel accomplished. Whole-body wellness and a positive spirit will make you feel good, and when you feel good, you look good.

Yours,

Athena