Dear Lola,

Though my father is in his nineties, he still lives on his own, and still has quite an eye for the ladies. And quite a few ladies seem to have an eye for him. Whenever I visit him, hordes of women stop by at all hours to drop off unhealthy desserts, invite him out for rich lunches, and keep him out well past his bedtime. One particularly “attentive” woman is young enough to be his granddaughter! My sister and I fear for his well-being, both physical and emotional. How can we tactfully warn him away from this brash young hussy?

Worried in Williston

Dear Worried,

Jeezum crow, give the poor guy a break, why don’t you? Sounds like he’s managing quite well on his own. The number of women who enjoy his company tells me that he must be an awfully sweet man. Quit your carping and try to emulate his attitude, and maybe you’ll be lucky enough to have friends like his when you’re his age. You should only live so long.

Love, Lola