Dear Lola,

“Elmer,” the man I’ve just started dating, has beautiful, soft skin, especially on his hands. I love the supple, glove-like feeling of his fingers. But when I mentioned this to Elmer’s old boyfriend, “Bugs,” he told me that Elmer coats his hands with cream every night and wears gloves to bed. Ick! Now I get creeped out each time Elmer touches me, and I’m dreading the quickly approaching moment when we’re bound to tumble into bed, and Elmer pulls out the gloves. Should I confront Elmer with what I know, or break off the relationship before it’s too late?

Shuddering in Shelburne

Dear Shuddering,

Before you do anything you’ll later regret, consider the source of your so-called information. Did I hear you identify Bugs as Elmer’s old boyfriend? If so, don’t you think Bugs might have some motive for coming between you and Elmer. Isn’t it possible that this glove story is actually a figment of Bugs’ imagination? And that simply asking Elmer, in a non-confrontational way, how he keeps his skin so soft, might smooth over the entire matter?