by Dan Bolles
As Americans, it is of course incumbent upon us to look not to intellectuals, scholars or even leaders for spiritual, moral and political guidance, but rather, to our celebrities. It is especially important in this troubled and tumultuous political season and economic climate. And who better to inspire and moderate these increasingly grave discussions than our most treasured public icons, musicians?
When looking for answers to really tough political questions, in this case McCain vs. Obama, like most red-blooded Americans, I first turn Mr. Shockin' Y'all himself, Toby Keith. Here, he weighs in on Obama (this clip is sound only, and you can skip to the 33 second mark to get to the good stuff).
So it seems Keith is, surpisingly, behind Obama — or at least half of Obama. But to make an informed decision, one really needs to hear both sides of the argument. Representing the McCain camp, Mr. John Rich with his Fox News smash "Raisin' McCain" — Note: here, "Raisin'" is short for "raising" and is not a commentary on the condition of septuagenarian McCain's skin.
Damn. That was persuasive. Lots of flashy red, white and blue stuff, redneck machismo and a hot girl playing the fiddle. And I kind of feel like watching Monday Night Football to boot. Dude's really appealing to my sensibilities as an American.
But to be fair, I can't justify voting for McCain without hearing a musical rebuttal. Thank goodness for Brookfield, VT pop composer, Bobby Gosh. Gosh, 72, wrote the 1976 Top-10 smash single "A Little Bit More" made (sort of) famous by Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show. Here, he offers his direct response to Rich's tune, with "Mama's Votin' For Obama." Take it away, Bobby.
Not bad. But this is why Republicans always win. They've got a slickly produced, high-energy, bumpersticker wisdom-laden rock video — with a hot girl playing the fiddle! Democrats get an old guy with a Casio keyboard, a drum machine and soccer moms holding signs. I'm no closer to a decision than I was when we started.
When in doubt, I find it's best to turn to old friends. In this case, Messrs Stuckey & Murray, a comedy duo from NYC who have a new vid out entitled "We Support Bush" — full disclosure: I went to high school with Jon Murray. As always, with S&M videos (not that kind of S&M, sickos), please view at your own discretion. If you're easily offended, click here instead.
And lastly, in a preview of this Thursday's VP debate between Joe Biden and Tina Fey, er, Sarah Palin, I leave you with this. Sigh.
God Bless America.