10 Things To Do In Burlington When You're Deaf. | Solid State

10 Things To Do In Burlington When You're Deaf.

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So, here I am with a busted ear again. Since listening to music is excruciating (not to mention out-of-tune), I've found some substitute activities.

#1. Read. A lot. Currently, I'm immersed in the world of contemporary French novelist Michel Houellebecq. I normally don't do fiction, but this guy's a real pill. I've also been re-reading  H.P. Lovecraft. Interestingly, Houellebecq penned a book of essays about his work called H.P. Lovecraft: Against the World, Against Life. (Keep in mind that Houellebecq doesn't write horror — he's just nuts.) I own it, but have yet to make it past the introduction by Stephen King.

#2. Watch movies and the like. Well, as long as they don't have a lot of music in them. Piano soundtracks especially hurt my ear. Brooke and I got bored and ordered "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang" from Adelphia the other night. It was pretty ridiculous. But we have a weird Robert Downey Jr. fetish. He actually contributes a song to the film! And while the rest of the world consumes episodes of "Lost," we've been geeking out to Sorkin-era "West Wing." Don't get me started on that guy.

#3. I sometimes go to the gym to vent my frustrations at being tormented by God.

#4. Drink. Before the return of my ear thingie, I had cut back on the booze big time. Now I'm back to using it as a crutch. "Oh, demon alcohol," as Ray Davies once sang.

#5. Contemplate quantum physics. That is, in my incredibly limited capacity. I also need a refresher on the principles of evolution. Any hard-core Darwinists among you?

#6. Contemplate human suffering. It all seems so unnecessary, really.

#7. Juggle the cats. No, really.

#8. Eat salad and fruit. It's so good. And good for you!

#9. Sit around practicing scales. There's nothing to do in the studio other than get my shred on. It doesn't even require ears.

#10. Go for walks. After all, there's a big pretty lake right by my house.

So there you have it. Now I'm off to the doctor for another round of We Can't Figure It Out.

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