Cannabis industry consultant Tripp Murray of Burlington
Each December for the last nine years, Seven Days
has published a list of aptronyms — that is, people's names that are apt (hence the term) to their employment, avocation or unique life circumstance.
Last year's list included several folks whose apropos monikers showed up in our inboxes or Google alerts due to their alleged criminal activities. They included 53-year-old Michael Gordon Dick,
of Gresham, Ore., who was popped by police for masturbating, naked, in the vicinity of Oregon's Tickle Creek.
Then there was Elias Rushing
, the 19-year-old Dorset man who crashed his car into a house in Rupert while fleeing a Vermont state trooper who was trying to pull him over for speeding.
And who could forget the aptly named chocolate Labrador retriever from North Webster, Ind. — Trigger
— that shot its owner, Allie Carter, in the foot after stepping on her 12-gauge shotgun.
But this year's most prominent aptronym — Trump
— is various defined as "outranking or defeating someone or something, often in a very public way;
" "to get the better of;"
and as a noun, "a dependable and exemplary person."
Clearly, one netizen took issue with that last definition and inserted her own, as a verb: "to expel gas through the anus, often in a highly audible way." We'll let the reader decide.
Other aptronyms from 2016 included:
Member of the board and executive committee of the Jewish Federation of Madison, Wisc. Seder also serves on the executive committee of Hillel at the University of Wisconsin.
director of communications for the Vermont Humanities Council.
Managing partner at Virentium Advisors in Burlington and consultant to the U.S. cannabis industry.
No explanation necessary.
Town of Hartford's delinquent tax clerk, formerly an employee at Vermont Law School.
Five-time Emmy Award-winning pioneer of underwater filmmaking.
U.S. Attorney in Brooklyn who, in December 2015, charged former Turing Pharmaceuticals CEO Martin Shkreli with securities fraud for running his company “like a Ponzi scheme.”
alternative folk-pop musician from Essex Junction.
32-year-old St. Johnsbury man charged on January 17 with first-degree domestic assault for deliberately breaking his wife’s arm.
33-year-old Derby resident arrested August 7 for alleged repeated acts of stalking.
Tight end for the University of Michigan football team. (As Butt is 6-foot-6 and 249 pounds, make wise-ass jokes at your own peril.)
Member of Trinity Episcopal Church-Rutland, who this year accepted an appointment as Diocesan Liaison for Refugee Resettlement.
57-year-old Huntington man accused August 17 of two counts of violating an abuse prevention order and driving while
Scientist who discovered an equation for explaining the evolution of altruism, then overnight turned into an extreme altruist, giving away everything he owned.
Ascot Corner, Québec, resident who on September 16 reported his RV was on fire on Interstate 91 in Barnet. The mobile home was ultimately a total loss.
57-year-old Readsboro woman whose 2005 Chrysler Town & Country was totaled after her steering malfunctioned, sending her careening off Route 100 in Stamford and striking a tree.