For the last six weeks or so, every time I get bored, or check Facebook on my phone, I've also opened up the mobile messaging app Yik Yak. Unlike Facebook, it forces all its users to be anonymous. Yik Yak lets you share your anonymous posts — called yaks — with other users within a 10-mile radius.

I'm way too old to be using this app, I know. Yik Yak is supposed to be for college students, and I'm pushing 40. I downloaded it because I wanted to see what the local students were saying — about life, about Burlington, about each other.

It was a fun experiment. I was mostly checking it from Winooski, or Burlington, where the yak scene is pretty active. I compiled a long list of memorable yaks that made me smile, or gag. I up voted and down voted enough of them to rack up about 400 points of "yakarma" — you get a point for every vote, so that gives you a sense of how active I've been. I wrote about my findings for this week's Seven Days Sex Issue.

I also wanted to include a transcript of a late-night thread I found one when I woke up early one Friday morning, but I didn't have room in print, so I'm presenting it here online. It reminded me of the "finds" I used to see in Found Magazine.

It's impossible to know who these people are — or if there was even more than one of them to begin with. I like to think there was. I love the way this conversation starts with a raunchy come-on, then pivots to a kind of courting scene. They even talk about the hookup app Tinder. Scrolling through the transcript of this conversation, I was reminded of a children's book I used to read over and over to my kids: an illustrated version of "The Spider and the Fly." 

Here it is as I found it when I woke up on Friday morning, the day before Valentine's Day. It appears to have begun around 2:30 a.m. The yak that started it all was "Just wanna bend a girl over." I marked the replies so that it's clear who's speaking. Or who I think is speaking. Guess we'll never know for sure. Does it even matter?

Original Poster: "Just wanna bend a girl over"
First Responder: Just wanna bend a guy over
FR: Just wanna be bent over
   OP: Let’s make it happen
FR: If only
   OP :Its possible
FR: It’s possible, just not probable or plausible
   OP: You have the ability to make it probable or not. Plausible maybe not, adventurous, definitely.
FR: Good point, I’m not usually at my most adventurous when there’s a real feel of -21 and it’s 2:40 and I’m already in bed
   OP: We can set it up for some other time
FR: You don’t know me and I have no idea who you are
FR: What makes you think you would even like me?
   OP: Let’s snap[chat] or exchange numbers
   OP: And then we can see if it’s something we want to do
   OP: Ah. Too bad. Would have been exciting. I like the rush
FR: It’s not something I’ve ever done before so it’s not a rush I know
   OP: Its just an adrenaline kick
FR: This has worked for you before?
   OP: Meeting someone new, spontaneously, through strange circumstances
   OP: I’ve never had a yak encounter
FR: Online though?
   OP: If you count tinder
FR: Ah! I just deleted my tinder
FR: But yes, I would count tinder as online
   OP: Thats as close to online encounter i’ve gotten
FR: And did it go well?
   OP: It did go well. It was fun
FR: Because she ended up being a cool person? Or just a fun hookup?
   OP: Both. She was chill and it was a great hookup
FR: Do you guys still hang out?
   OP: No we don’t
FR: Sorry, don’t mean to be interrogating you, I’m just honestly curious
   OP: Haha it’s okay i don’t mind
FR: The fact that tinder has become such a thing kind of amazes me and makes me sad all at the same time
   OP: Its def the hookup culture we are in.
   OP: But good for people using every tool at hand in order to meet and discover new people
FR: It is, which can be great is also a bummer at times. But I have an exam tomorrow morning, so am going to sleep. Good luck finding your girl.
   OP: Goodnight. Goodluck on your exam :)
FR: Thank you. Maybe someday we’ll meet, and never know we’ve talked before
   OP: A romantic could only hope
FR: Lol
Second Responder: Soo… You two gonna fuck or what?